The end of a strange year. December is almost here, ahead of the New Year that will start soon. A few months ago, a lot of things happened. Most previously, I never thought it’s meant to occur. Some events, so sweet to me to even forget, some, too sweet and made me nauseous and dizzy, and finally, I replaced it with something bitter and made me sick, instead.
2 weeks. Only 2 weeks, it feels like a long time ago. What made it so different, I missed the story so well. With people, whom made me knew who I am. It was exactly one week ago, I met a guy from Spain who made me sure that every encounter is something that’s not a coincidence. That, every day passes along with the old and new, is a scenario of Allah to make the story of my life so valuable.
Met with Javier was the first experience that made me changed my perspective of how the world I used to think so narrow, turned out to be the world which is so vast and full of strange places I had never heard before, especially for a man whom only traveled to islands near home. El Camina de Santiago, until the star clusters of Milky Way during the winter which its beauty resembling aurora borealis in the North Pole, are little stories that make your feet want to wander, to see the beauty that you’ve never seen before.
Every pair of Puzzle of stories collected, are pair of binoculars that made me able to see it all, even if only heard through the mouth. They convinced me that I need to make my dream bigger.
Reaching the age of nearly 22 years, my soul is always required to be an adult, especially financial problems that kept me thinking to find a job, because I’m sure my parents are already growing tired of my needs. Next year, I will reach the gate, where the ego and self-reliance, supposed to be a friend that keeps me going in the world which will form me to be a complete human.
Several days ago, I met Tom, the man from Wales who decided to spend the weekend in Purwokerto, a small town that has always made me comfortable with everything in it. I’m grateful for every morning that I do not have to fear of late because of stuck in the traffic, or difficult to find foods because of the exorbitant prices. Everything is available here, and the longer I live, the more I love this little home that has given me a lot of stories.
Having Tom in here became the second experience for me, after the first time Javier spent 4 days here, it made my weekend which was empty became better with the story and adventure that we created. Although in the end, I regret the recent events that made me a little crushed. I was thankful it did not happen, and the last moment when I saw Javier disappeared behind the line of the railway station, while sentences of goodbye and I’ll see you later which has always been a formality, without any willingness to meet again disappeared with the wind.
That was when the last time I saw Javi, disappeared along with all the memory of 4-days brief, lasting, made it difficult to forget.
I was too sensitive, to a man. Got a friend who made me think more mature and widely, through a meeting that I never wished before, was a good opportunity to get to know myself.
As well as when I met Tom, a tall man who made me look like a dwarf, a man who ate large portions of food until he calls it “Rice Elephant”, the meeting, which also I never wished before. That was when I realized, Tom made my weekend even better. It sucks when new friend, makes you forget about your old friend instead. Even more amusing for the meeting which only happened for a moment, than the meeting that has lasted for years. Perhaps because so many stories that could be shared, so many similarities that eventually, could gave me the answers to the questions that were always jammed in my head.
We spent the weekend together with some other friends, enjoyed the sunrise at Mount Prau which dried because of drought for a long time. Created yellow dry leaves untouched by the water, made it more beautiful, doused with golden light morning sun.
Spent 3-hours trip on a motorbike which made me couldn’t feel my own hands and ass due to prolonged cramps. But in the end, paid by the smiles from everyone.
Although at night, I almost died because of the cold. Strong winds and cold temperatures that made me always face the nightmare, plus worsened by defective sleeping bag that made me hypothermia for several hours, until I had time to think, I might be dead.
When we woke up that morning, I wanted to kiss the ground I stood, because I thought I will never see the next day. Despite woke up with great chills, and I could not feel my own hands. But the week was a week that couldn’t never be forgotten, even until today.
This week also, no less remarkable. Spent the morning with Tom and Pieter, in the same place. Although apparently, the morning was much better than my week together with Javi and Barkah. What made it even better was that we used a tent, and sleeping bag which I brought with me was the new one, it did not make me too miserable to sleep at night, and despite I still felt the cold. I almost skipped the morning sunrise, if Tom and Pieter did not wake me up, I tried to fight the cold which tortured me along the night, and escaped to the outside, out of the tent that the cover was blown by strong winds.
“If I Died because of the cold, just throw my corpse somewhere, then.”
We walked down the small hills to watch the sunrise. Running from one spot to another, chased time and tried to find the best spot to see the king of the afternoon out of the throne. Until a few minutes passed, finally we could saw how majestic the mountains of sindhoro and sumbing, exposed in yellow gold sunrise-light, decorated with thick clouds and fog that met the sun from the east. And after the seconds gone higher, it replaced the dark with orange light.
Tom and Pieter looked happy, as well as me. We took a spot at the bottom, so we could saw everything so clearly from below. Only us, the three of us.
“Thank you for making it real.”
The three of us sat bare on dry grass, enjoyed the bread which we bought yesterday to fill hungry stomach a little bit. With the small chats, asked what kind of breakfast we usually eat each morning. Alternatively, other things were not important, but still made the morning felt so warm. Warm. The sun got higher, although still, the wind made me shiver. The same moment, as when I spent the morning together with Javi and Barkah that time. Small talk, and I realized that we would meet farewell again.
Even, every time, the last time when i realized that to meet someone who has so much things in common. At that moment, I realized that every encounter is not a coincidence. People in our lives, a little more become puzzles that are still a mystery, somehow we simply to only meet, to stay or go. Either meet again one time or not at all. Either to remember or to forget altogether.
We sat on the grass of savannah Prau Mountain. Small talks about the books and conversation with so many random topics. I realized that I would lose one more friend.
Up until the last moment, the last night where Tom lived in my room, the night when it was so exhausting for me. We ran out of conversation, though in fact, there are still lot of things I wanted to ask him. So many. But, well, never mind. I think it’s been so many stories that we expressed to one another, whether small talks were not important until the topic that I felt so deep. I love to find someone who has so much in common, which is always keen to explain, despite knowing it was not important at all. On the other hand, I’ve had too much to live with people who had lost the essence of share a story, which is so individualistic and lose the spirit of talk in the morning, even very poor appreciation for each other.
Too sarcastically, I feel so, or indeed I was too arrogant.
“If something is meant for you, you will get it even though it’s buried beneath the two mountains.”
I slumped in the seat café that afternoon, accompanied Tom to have his lunch because of ill due to Indonesian food that is sometimes unhealthy for him. Much or less, talk on the topic that was so deep, that made me sad. Or, confused about the future I will face ahead.
“You have to be egoistic for your life, you have to choose life as what you want to be.”
“I do not even know what kind of life I want for my future.”
Either too early to think about, or too late to plan. At that time I just wanted to sleep, the confusion was only made my brain hurt.
Until that night, as we sat in a café sipping coffee for one or two cups. At the same time, I really wanted to sleep, tired, i wanted to hug my ugly pillow and smell it.
Nothing to talk about, or did we lose the talk. And we sat silent with each other long enough.
“What would you do after I left your house?”
“Ehmm.. I have no idea, I was planning to go home and see my niece, or clean my stuffs after went to Prau, why?”
“I thought you’ll cry after I left.”
Laugh. Ah, yes, it looked like I’m going to cry. Because the true separation is always painful, even for people who used to be strangers who just knew for a few days. Which in a few weeks, will probably forget you, quickly, as soon as the journey of the clouds. The same thing when Me and Ali, also Darshan, when our last moment together. When we said to always keep this fraternity, but still, life could never be a bridge to distant friends there. On the other hand, you have a job for you to solve, without necessarily to remember each other.
“I thought you’ll cry after I left.”
Crying inside. Maybe.
Hot day a few days ago, right after that morning, Me and Ayu drove Tom to the station. I still remember the last sentence.
How could I cry?
When I got back, I went into the room and everything was different. The smell of Tom’s sweat even still could smell for a few minutes in my little mattress. May be disappear in a few moments. I was so tired today. I wanted to sleep alone.
Until a few hours passed. It was hot. And I realized that I was alone again. Weekend has ended, a new week has just begun. And met Tom, the same as the last time i met Javier. Everything was like a dream. The long journey, sleeping on hard mattress and grasses, against the cold until almost dead. 2 days, almost lost and like a dream when I was waking up from sleep.
Maybe I felt too deep. Because I rarely meet people, not as often as Tom and Javi, and they get used to it. Forgetting, it may be easier for them. Forgetting a stranger you just met in a few hours.
Maybe because I feel they are the ones who gave things a little much for me who is stupid enough. Because I always believed, that the meeting, not just a meeting, it teaches you to be reborn into another new person, better than before in every context.
“It’s not necessary to keep in touch after that, asking how are you and what are you doing for a thousand times. If somebody is meant for you, or if you guys are meant to meet again in the future, they will run into you, they will not forget about you. “
In the end, the meeting will always lead to separation. But I’m thankful I did not meet with the wrong people. Although in the end you will be forgotten, but you, should never be the one who forgot.
Goodbye, Javi and Tom. Thank you for the great weekend. Do not laugh when you see this. If you guys finally forget about me, just keep in mind that I will never forget the journey we spent in the 4 days.